Clueless : He or Me

I was in Delhi couple of weeks back. Got a call from unknown number and was surprised to listen to his voice: It was him (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/04/short-real-story.html). All of sudden, after around an year. I wanted to scold him for not keeping in touch but then the happiness of hearing his voice made me forget all the anger I had for him.

It was a super packed schedule for me in Delhi as I was there just for 3-4 days. Somehow we managed to catch up for a cup of coffee late night on a weekend. I always looked up to him for inspiration as I have seen him rise from the ashes, a love guru for me, always gave me the best advice on both professional and personal front.

But this time when I met him, I saw a different person. His thoughts were different than that were 2-3 years back. Yes, I agree we all mature with age but am not sure if the change is because of maturity. May be he was clueless.

I remember him being ready to marry his first love even at an age of 22.That time his heart ruled him. But now, he is single as he was not ready to marry his girlfriend ( not the first love ) last year. I felt it was his mind ruling him not heart.

He works for a MNC and no longer lives in Delhi with his family. I remember him crying the first time he moved out of the city 3 years back. But today he was calm and composed about living outside Delhi. Again can be put down to him being mature but at the same time it can be he is no longer weak. He has turned mentally strong.

I was surprised when he told me about not being ready for commitment and gave me reasons of not hearing violin playing in the background like he did when he was 22 and said he never felt that special feeling when he was with her again with anyone. But what I could feel was that he lacked self-belief. I felt him being a romantically insulated kind of person now , totally running away from the reality of life. 

He still remembers the feeling he had at age of 22 and is waiting for that to come again. He thinks that was love. I tried convincing him that violin does not play in background if you are in love but he did not agree to it.

And for that special feel I tried convincing him that to be in a relationship one needs to have a sense of respect, liking, comfort with each other not that special feel (which is temporary, one has in the excitement stage). He refused to accept this argument too saying that the special feel is permanent.

I don’t know if he is right about love or I am. I don’t know if he is clueless about the situation right now or I am.