You are the reason why I smile

Oh yes, you are one of the biggest reasons of my smile. Your presence around me has brought a sense of peace in my life. I am grateful that despite my shortcomings you have accepted me the way I am…you have accepted me with my tantrums, you respect my opinions, you are always there for me and above all you trust me. I cannot stand the thought of losing you, you are such an integral part of my life. My life will be incomplete without you.

Each one of us are lucky to have such people in our lives. From parents, to siblings, to close friends, to life partner. They are the people who stand by you even if the world is against you. It is amazing to spend your life around those people. But sometimes we get so much involved with ourselves, that we forget our responsibility towards them and regret it later on.

I guess somewhere we as a generation are too materialistic. We are too much in love with gadgets, facebook account and ourselves, that we are ignoring the real world and people around us. In the effort to make our present better, we are not thinking about future. I guess for some people the smile for a given moment is directly proportional to the number of likes on the status related to it on facebook.

I am thankful that the people who bring a smile to my face are sane and they do have time for me and are not lost in virtual fake world. 

You just keep trying...

There are times in life when everything around you seems to be useless...you feel why am I even here....I dont belong here...I havent done anything so bad to deserve this....you keep thinking about all this...you try to find an answer to these questions....but you never succeed...you just keep trying...

There are times in life when you feel that you are taking steps backwards.... You are trying your level best not to do that but there seems to be a force which is pulling you back and you are helpless about it....you just keep trying...

There are times when you feel alone despite having people around you...the only person you find solace with is yourself...people around you keep on saying something or the other which for you is just utter nonsense...you just want to talk to or listen to is one person....yourself but you are not able to...you just keep trying...

There are times when you so desperately want to have a good night sleep...but everytime you close your eyes, you see a nightmare...no matter how hard you try you are not able to sleep..you dont know what to do...you just kep trying...

You just keep trying and keep up the belief that there is always a silver lining.....

And the bells rang again

After almost more than a year, I got a call from him again last month (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/04/short-real-story.html) when I was in Delhi , as always from an unknown number. He just said that he wanted to meet me asap and told me that he will pick me up in next 20 minutes. I saw the watch and it was 11:30 pm. I was damn tired but could not resist a chance to meet him.

Over the last 4 years I met (around 4-5 times), every time I saw a different guy in him. But this time, I felt the same spark in his eyes which was their in 2008-09. He was sounding really positive. Before he said something, I told him “dude seems you have a gf”. He blushed.

From here on the conversation is different with what guys have and what girls. Girls go into deep dive and take all the details about the guy, his family etc etc. Guys generally just ask one question “Is she the one or you still in look out”? :D I did not need to ask this question because I knew he is not that kind of guy to go for a random relationship.

So I reminded him about the conversation we had last year and asked him is it the same feeling he had few years back (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2012/02/clueless-he-or-me.html). I wanted to know that did he feel the violins playing, bell ringing – something he always believed in and was laughed at by many. He started by saying that precisely to tell me about this he wanted to meet me. He continued by saying that yes he heard them. But this time it was little different. This time he felt more of peace and a sense of assurance. So for next one hour , I just listened to him about how happy he is now that his decision to wait for the right person proved correct. He thanked me for telling him last year that he was in a romantically insulated stage and he needed to make an effort to get out of it. My respect for him doubled when he refused to compare his gf with his ex and said that its not right to compare. He finished off by saying that “Respect and learn from the past and present to have a better future”.

Wowww… its always been good to have a conversation with him. Wish we both had time to meet more often. It was good to be proved wrong.

When we were about to get up from our seats, suddenly I heard bells ringing. I thought it was an indication from god to me that she is somewhere there – but then I found out it was a customer who rang the bells of Pizza Hut where we were sitting. :D

Tham jaa Zindagi…

Few days back, turning the page of the calendar in my office, I realized that its already the start of May. One-third of 2013 has already passed. Seems like just yesterday I was dining with my school friends at 31^st December 2012. Few significant events have happened in 2013 already, but life has been moving at such a fast pace, that I never really got a chance to just sit back and savor the moments.

Somewhere it is good that so much is happening in life that I never really got a chance to ponder over things. Somewhere it is bad that am not even getting chance to celebrate few events. Part and parcel of life I guess. J

But I do realize that I need to take out time for some of the important things in life and I intend to do that from June onwards. This month of MAY is definitely going to be a crazy one and am all set for it. Hopefully post that I will be able to control the speed of my life rather than other way around. J

Already I have a list of things to do in June – a small holiday, call up friends with whom haven’t kept in touch in last few months, listen to songs, watch movies, start jogging or playing some sports, etc etc etc :D

Tham jaa zindagi…tham jaa…yahi lamha hai,…jeene de mujhe…tham jaa…tham jaa…..

Songs and movies

"Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte

Tere bina kya wajood mera.

Tujh se juda agar ho jaayenge

To khud se hi ho jaayenge juda

Kyun ki tum hi ho

Ab tum hi ho

Ki zindagi ab tum hi ho..

Chain bhi, mera dard bhi

Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho"

Its difficult to convey the other person how much important she is in your life...sometimes it takes a lifetime to explain that. I wonder how much romantic these lyricist are to write such beautiful songs. After a long long time, i heard a song that is just amazing - beautiful lyrics, nicely sung. In short, mast gaanaa. 

I have realized that come what may happen, my love for romantic songs and SRK movies will stay for lifetime. I can listen to these beautiful songs non stop again n again and even today the entrance of SRK in kabhi khushi kabhi gham is enough to bring Goosebumps to me. The beautiful line " aaaaa aaa aa aa aaa...kabhi khushi kabhi gham, na judaa honge hum kabhi khushi kabhi gham " brings a small tear of happiness. I wish today's directors had the talent to make good romantic movies.

I wish I get a free weekend soon - where i can just relax n listen to nice songs and watch SRK movies ... Seems not possible anytime soon but will do that at first chance :)

Btw, if u havent heard this song then do it asap - u r missing out n something really nice. And yes, watch an SRK movie this weekend - it will be worth it.

And I keep on walking….

"There's a place far away...I wanna be there some day"....

As expected (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2012/12/another-yearanother-step.html) 2013 is turning out to be an year to remember. I believe am moving in the right direction. I am not scared to walk alone though am blessed to have someone walking with me, holding my hand and trusting the direction am taking. The journey though difficult is definitely a memorable one….

With time, I understood how important it was to experience failure in life, how important it was to see bad times, how important it was to be alone. At the same time I understand that how critical it was to learn from all that and gather strength to get up and start walking again.

Life is not dull if you have some goal, life is not dull if you have a clear priority in life. Life is not dull even though you have to walk alone in achieving that goal. But yes life is beautiful if there is someone walking with you sharing the same goal.

When I close my eyes, I visualize where I want to be….I know that place is far away right now….but I know that I want to be there some day….and I trust myself that I will make it there one day…..and I trust that I will not be alone when I reach there….

The inner peace

“Love has no reason, no meaning and no explanation. A million poems have been written. A million songs have been sung. And yet we still can’t explain it.”

No one agreed with his thoughts about love. To the defense of everyone, his thoughts about love were weird – He always felt that he would hear bells ringing, violins playing when he falls in love. No one believed in his concept of love – everyone told him that it happens only in movies, and life is not a movie. They tried to convince him, some even tried to scare him by saying that he would end up single for life if he sticks to his belief about love. He dated few girls and every time he refused to take next step and when asked about the reason he gave the very same answer– he did not feel the connect, he did not hear the bells ringing and violins playing. As expected, he was at the receiving end of those girls too , some of them bluntly told him that they feel he was living in a dream world, some of them criticized him by saying that he was still clutching to his past, a few of them smiled and wished him the best for future.

As time passed and more people tried to persuade him, his belief started to shake a little. Every time it happened, he felt alone as he had no one to whom he could go to restore the belief. He realized he was his own strength. Every time he felt weak, he just closed his eyes and recollect how he felt the time he fell in love, what he felt and how special it was. He visualized himself falling in love again with the same feeling, he visualized himself going back to everyone who did not believe in his thoughts and telling them that he was right. He visualized everyone apologizing to him. Every time with his thought, he would restore his faith and gather strength to wait for his love. Somewhere, he always felt angry to all the people who tried to tell him to change his belief.

After waiting for long time, it eventually happened again. Yes, he felt the way he always dreamt it to be – he heard the bells ringing, violins playing when he fell in love. In a minute, he felt his life changed – everything around him was so beautiful again, in each and every minute he felt the happiness he always waited for in last few years. He felt everything perfect again in his life. 

However, there was a slight difference that he never imagined – he felt inner peace, he experienced his mind getting blank with no anger or whatsoever for the people who never supported him for his belief – he immediately decided to forgive them and move on with his life. He felt proud of himself that he did not let his dream die; he never compromised with his dream and beliefs. He understood what tears of happiness meant that day.

“You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.”