Ek din teri Raahon mein

Dil to hamesha se hi dhadakta tha,

Par dhakdan sunna sikhaya tere ehsaas ne.

Sunta tha hazaron kisse mohabbat ke ,

Par mera kissa banaya tere pyaar ne.

Dekhta tha jaate hue musafir Manzil ki raah mein,

Par unhi anjaan raasto par chalna sikhaya teri talaash mein.

Dekhta tha pehle bhi taare aasman mein,

Par unko raat bhar ginkar jagvaya tere intezaar ne.

Dekhta tha main logon ko doobte pyaar mein,

Par mujhko tairna sikhaya tere vaapas aane ki ek ummed ne.

Padta tha main bahut kavitayein aashiquon ki,

Par mujhko kavi banaya teri bevafayein ne.

-          Rauuullll

Started on 26^th Dec 2008, finished on 26^th Dec 2011

Out of the comfort zone

I was rated as one of the best bowlers in my society when I was 11 years old. I always got an opportunity to play with the senior team in my society and the junior team (the age group I belonged), was doing really well in sports that point of time. However, I was always scared to take the responsibility. If the opposition needed 6 runs in the final over, you could find me slowly moving towards the boundary so that the captain don’t notice me and ask me to bowl. I was happy in my comfort zone and was scared to let the team down in case I don’t bowl well in the last over. Things changed when I got a shake up and was no longer the main bowler for the team, I started taking responsibility to win matches for the team and again became the main bowler. It needed an external factor to get me out of my comfort zone.

I admit, I was damn scared to go to Infosys. Living out of home for the first time in my life. I tried real hard to get a job in Delhi/NCR , got couple of offers but those I was sure were not best for my career. The only reason I gathered courage to go to Mysore was because my best friend was there and secondly everything was perfect in my life and I knew there was no chance things would screw up. Eventually it all turned out to be wrong but then again it needed external factors to get me out of my comfort zone.

Have you seen the Big bang theory? There is a character by name “Rajesh Koothrappali” in it. This guy can talk to girls only when he is drunk. Rest all of the time if a girl is near him, he stays quiet. Believe me , I was like that. I was damn scared to talk to girls. I always dreamt of being with a girl , had thought of couple of girls in school I would love to go out with but never gathered enough courage to talk to them. As always it needed an external factor to help me get out of this mess. It needed a girl like her who would take all the steps towards the guy.

One thing that I learned from all these is that we have the potential/courage/ability to face the situation but we keep on waiting for something external to happen for us to actually take the life forward. We are so happy in our comfort zone that we try to remain in it for as long as possible.

If you are unhappy with your organization , start to think that you are unemployed , then only you will put in the best effort to get another job. If you love someone don’t wait for her to come to you, think she is about to get married in a month and it’s now or never. You are scared to do a kind of job in office , don’t wait for someone to force you to do it, practice it by putting in extra hours in office before that situation comes.

Living in comfort zone is like fooling yourself, get out of it , don’t wait for someone to push you out.

P.S. Merry Christmas J

Someday Someway

I have heard it many times from different people, “ Rauuullll you should not have done that , its not good to be bad to people.” They told me three steps if someone do wrong to you: forgive them, move on and forget what happened. However am not still not convinced about it.

Forgive others :  I agree, forgiveness is a great human deed but for that the other person should atleast apologize. I am not a saint to forgive someone just like that. If there is god and he is watching everything he should know that XYZ has been wrong to me and I cant forgive him and I deserve to see someone doing exactly the same wrong thing with XYZ . Oh yeah only then I can forgive him.

Move on : Aah sounds so simple.  How can I ? What will I answer to the person I see in mirror everyday. Will I say that “ Oh yeah someone played with my life , it still affects me day in and day out but am trying to move on “ . Common , that is not Rauuullll.

Forget what happened : My brain is not a hard drive that I can erase the memories. Add to it its in my genes to remember things with accuracy to the date. I cant help it.

I don’t believe in the philosophy of being good to everyone. I believe be good to good people and then good will happen to you. I have been bad to people in the past , and I want to be bad to a few people in future for sure.  I don’t have any feeling of guilt in saying that am just waiting for a day when their time will be up and my time will start.

Give me a break.Am a normal human being, not a Jesus Christ. So I should behave like a normal human being and that for me means to slap the other person harder in reply to a slap.And am sure the day some normal human being  plays with the life of these so called saints on earth , they will also turn into normal human beings. Till then stay away from me.

World Spins Madly On

“Woke up and wished that I was dead
  With an aching in my head
  I lay motionless in bed
  I thought of you and where you’d gone
 And let the world spin madly on”

There are days in life when you just wake up and your mind is already preoccupied with the thought, “What the hell is going on in life”. A clear sign that its going to be a pathetic day. Most of the times the worst fears turn out to be true. It indeed ends up as a bad day.

You go to sleep with a hope that its not the start of a vicious circle, where you have nightmares about all the bad happenings in the day/week and again wake up next day with the same thought. You talk about it with friends and more often that not get to hear a solution which is as difficult to implement as it sounds simple, “ Forget it , it was just a bad day, don’t think about it”.

Another bad day, another bad sleep full of nightmares, no concentration at work, mind preoccupied, clear signs of things not going right. However, still only one solution, “Forget it, things will eventually get right”.

Sometimes we are left with no other option than to ‘Forget it’. When something is not under control, there is nothing we can do about it , then the only option is to ‘forget it’.

Why I wrote this post? ‘Forget it’.

P.S. Mood : Angry , distraught , frustrated .

Aur main...sirf main

Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama,
neeli neeli si khamoshiyan,
na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan,
sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan,
keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan,
bas main hoon,
meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein,
aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan,
aur main… sirf main.
Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.

This shayari comes after the trio’s deep-sea dive in Zindagi na Milegi Dobara. The environment around gets better of them and they spend some moments where everyone is quiet and in a deep thought.

These kinds of moments happen when you are at a beautiful place, secluded from the fast, crazy noisy world. I remember it happening when I did a moonlight trek to Skandgiri from Bangalore in 2009. I was freezing sitting there at around 4 am but still the moment got better of me and had an amazing time with myself thinking about life even though there were around 30-40 more people at the top. I felt peaceful.

One thing that is good about Chennai that we Delhites miss in North is the Beaches. There are beaches in the city, though very crowded most of the times. However, if you drive 50 kms out of the city, you will get to see beautiful beaches, clear water, and not much crowd, in short very peaceful.

And believe me if someone like me whose mind is not able to concentrate on one thing for long can find peace sitting at these beaches , then am sure you all will enjoy these kind of places to max.

P.S. I had an amazing birthday in Kolkata with school friends. Thanks a lot for the birthday wishes. Feels blessed to have you all in my life.

Turning 25

In another 9 days, I will turn 25. At first I thought its just another number, not that significant. But then when I think about the difference this year has brought to my life, it is indeed significant.

Am now a working professional, out of the fun college life. Living independently in an alien city. I myself feel a difference in the way I was last year. Though I had started thinking about my career last year but those were just random thoughts. Now am seriously trying to following the path I chose.

The way people around look at me now also have changed. Unexpected questions are being put forward to me. From my parents asking me about my love life ( http://unknownrahul.blogspot.com/2011/04/marriage-talks.html ) to random people asking me my preference for a girl ( http://unknownrahul.blogspot.com/2011/10/crazy-mad-world.html ). These are enough to make me feel that Rauuullll life has changed.

Another thing that is happening these days is getting loads of invitation cards of marriage. Marriage of my school friends, Btech friends and also MBA friends. It makes me ask myself, What is happening, why is everyone getting married, that too so early. Am I being too behind in the career path to think that I need to work atleast couple of years more to even think of being settled? Whatever, I guess am entering last 2-3 years of my bachelor life. Its time to work hard and party harder. J

Luckily, one of my school friends is getting married on my birthday that means I will not be alone, will be having good time with friends in Kolkata.

One of the lines Barnie said, don’t remember which episode, is ringing in my head right now “While everyone around me is getting married or pregnant, am just getting too awesome”. :D

Happy birthday in advance Rauuullll :D

The Battle City

Its been now 5 months for me in Chennai. I find it strange to say but its true, these 5 months have not been the worst period of my life by any means. But yeah, its been tough.

It has been a strange phase so far. I have worked on all the public holidays so far. The reason being simple, I have nothing else to do in Chennai. Therefore, taking a holiday and sitting at home is worse than going to office. I save all my leaves and utilize them either to go to delhi or some holiday. So the next trip is for Kolkata this month end.

I never imagined myself going to a restaurant to dine alone. Sadly I do that quite often here to please myself. The same I did yesterday, Friday evening 8 pm I was in office. A normal life if I would have been in delhi and got late from office, directly gone home, mom would have said “Beta, you got late and look tired, I will get you some food, you relax.” But here in Chennai, I said to myself “Hey Rauuulllll, its been a long and tiring week, come I will take you to a good restaurant, have a good dinner”. Sounds sad, yeah it is.

Somehow, I have ended up knowing very few people in office and outside. It’s a small group of people around me with whom I interact on a daily basis. Thankfully, the group is really nice but at same time I miss the life in Delhi where I had a circle to hangout with.

The only respite is Saturday when I get to hear from most of you via phone or gtalk or FB. However, am sure it would have been so much fun if we could meet every weekend. J

The Circle of Life

I remember I cried a lot when I failed to clear the DCE entrance test. I always knew I was never an IIT material, was too bad in Science subjects but somehow was optimistic to do well in DCE. That can be put as my first setback in life. I felt as if everything ended ..blah blah blah.. Now I realize that was very small thing.

What makes me think now that it was a very small thing is experience. I have seen worse times than that, have seen others experiencing a tougher and worse life than me. This has made me look at things in a wider horizon and made me understand that whatever the situation is, it will pass.

There is no substitute for experience. As humans, we are bound to make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. Life is unpredictable, things turn all of sudden. The important thing is to remember how we dealt with the twist in past and how can we deal with it in a better way this time.

It is truly remarkable what experience teaches you. Today I see myself almost at the same situation as I was around three years back. And I wonder how much in a better way I could have dealt the situation then as am doing now. I made the situation worse for myself then, kept on thinking why things went wrong for me. However now I thank god that I had faced a similar situation in the past and now I am dealing with it in the best possible way by not allowing it to affect my life.

I guess the famous line “ jo hota hai achhe ke liye hota hai “ is aptly fitting in this context.

Say No to Crackers

When I was a kid, I was always very excited about this festival, looking forward to spending the evening with my cousins. They loved burning crackers and I used to stand at a corner and participate with small crackers. That was long time ago, when I was in I think 5^th or 6^th standard. After that the next couple of years, I celebrated Diwali in Chennai. There it was celebrated as a get together in the society, a good dinner and some crackers.

I guess that was the last time I celebrated diwali with crackers. Yeah I don’t like crackers, I hate pollution. The only thing I like about diwali is to see the city decorated with lights. Delhi looks really beautiful.

This year too diwali for me is about lighting candles. I do that every diwali , I buy some candles and light them in evening. After diwali prayers, dugdug and I sit in my room, with AC on and watch TV. Its impossible for both of us to even think of going out in open, for me its because of pollution and for him he is scared of the noise because of crackers.

Now more and more of my friends have joined the anti-cracker campaign with me that is heartening to see. So this diwali I have plans to meet some couple of college friends in afternoon and then play PS3 with school friends in evening. That should be fun.

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous Diwali.

Celebrate it with candles not crackers. J

Love or Desire

Exactly this very date on calendar three years ago, they both had professed their love. Today they were miles apart in terms of both distance and feelings. Nevertheless, he still loved her and had a hope to see her again. I told him zillion times that its all over. He had understood this long time back but somewhere the hope still languished in heart and was strong enough to completely take control of his senses.

He decided to give it a try again. I pleaded to him to not to enter the trap again. But I knew he wont stop so didn’t force him. He said it will be a last try. So happily, he wrote her a mail that he will be waiting for her at the same place where they met exactly a year ago.

With this started what I feared. For next two hours, he kept on checking his mailbox every minute hoping for a reply from her side. It never came. I thought this would be the end but then he took his car keys and told me he is going to that place. When asked for the reason , he said “ I guess she hasn’t replied because she wants to surprise me by directly showing up there”. I could see the confidence of love in his eyes so I decided not to discourage him at that moment and I just said “I hope so too”.

It was past midnight. He had not returned or replied to any of my calls. I went to that place but it was closed. Finally, he came around 2 am. I wanted to scream at him but then even before I could say a word he hugged me and started crying and kept on repeating, “She didn’t come”.

After an hour when I felt he was normal , I decided to have a talk. I knew I had to get him out of this mess and make him understand that this is the end.  For next half hour I gave him a big lecture. He didn’t utter even a single word , just kept on nodding the head.

In the end , he said “ I understand you completely. I just want to send her a last mail to tell her that I waited for her there and since she didn’t turn up or replied to my mail , I am not going to get in touch with her again “. Again, I knew that even if I say No to him , he will still do it.

He sent her a mail and went to bed. I was still scared for him, so I waited for him to sleep. Suddenly don’t know the reason but some thought in my mind made me to login to his laptop. I opened his mailbox and went to the sent mails section. I opened the last mail. It read :

“

Hey dear,

Am sure you must be busy in something very important and that’s why you could not come to the place and reply to my mail. Its ok , I understand that.

I will wait for you at the same date and place next year. Do make it that time.

Loads of love

“

I had no clue how to react to that. A part of me wanted to wake him up and give me a huge lecture but then a bigger part of me realized that he loves her truly, madly & deeply and nothing except time can make him forget her and till then it’s the hope to be with her which is keeping him alive and I should not try to kill the hope abruptly.

I never talked about that mail with him. That date next year I ensured that, I stayed with him the whole day and kept his mind occupied with something or the other.

I am not sure how to name his feelings. In the beginning am sure it was love , but with time it turned into an unfulfilled desire which he wanted to achieve. The worst part was that this desire was not taking him forward in life but thankfully time as always proved again to be the best healer.

Crazy Mad World

Every Monday I wake up and the first thought that crosses my mind is “Here starts another week”. The goal in mind is to have a good week in office, do the work well, come up with good fancy numbers, stats and transform them into well-written reports, ensure everyone is happy with my work, and wait for the Friday evening. By Wednesday, I plan for the weekend, book tickets for movie ensuring the timings do not clash with the football matches.

Its been four months I have been doing this week in and out. Yes am enjoying doing this. Feels good to be a part of financial world. I don’t wish to think much about future as what I should be doing 1 year down the line, 2 years down the line or say 5 years.

But strangely the World do thinks about me even if I don’t want to think. So people come up to me and ask “Hey machha, so how much time more you plan to stay in Chennai “? , “ Dude aren’t you tired working 12 hours daily “ ? , “ So Rauuullll, settled in job, when do you plan to marry? ” ..

Initially I tried to give logical answers to each of them, “Chennai, I guess another 2 years”, “ Naah am having fun working and I stretch the working hours myself as I have loads of work “ , “ I plan to settle down after 3 years”.

But then I was flooded with counter questions, “ Whaaattttt, you cant survive in Chennai for 2 years”, “ Think about your health, don’t work for 12 hours” ,  “ Isnt it too late for marriage ?”

So I came up with some witty answers :D . “ I love Chennai, am going to live here for my life”, “ Work is God, I plan to stretch my timings further more “ , “ Please please find me a good girl , am ready to get married asap”.

I thought that was going to stop the world from asking me further questions. But the World is actually mad. One of them actually came up with a stupid counter question, “Will it be fine if the girl is vegetarian? “. I just stared at him and left without saying any word.

Resolutions Update

Its the month of October now. I made this list in December 2010 and was really excited by the time I ended this list thinking I have so much to look forward to this year.

I guess it has been a good year till now.

1. Start reading novels - Read some novels when I was free in Delhi. Havent read anything since I started working. Plan to start a novel today.

2. Learn guitar - Naah..Havent joined any guitar class yet. Somehow I feel I dont have patience to learn it.

3. No stupid personal hiccups/relations - Absolutely. Dont even have time to get into all this now. Everything ended with college.

4. Enjoy work n life in new job - I am having a good time in office. Not sure about life as both seem to be same for me these days.

5. Do what i feel like - Have done that by coming to chennai and somewhere am proud of my decision.

6. Stay in touch with college/school friends - Have tried my best to stay in touch. Some reciprocated , so we are in touch, others god bless you.

7. Give a thought on drinking - Tried that. Didnt feel anything special about it , so I guess drinking is not for me.

8. Give a thought on leaving non-veg - Have left non- veg and I feel good about being a vegetarian. Am really happy I took this decision.

9. Clear CFA level 1 - Sadly didnt register for paper this year. But its something which is in my mind and I will surely be CFA someday in future.

10. Watch Formula 1 race in Noida - I will be in delhi on F1 weekend and if I feel like going I will surely make it somehow.

11. Cut down on online time - My job has ensured this.

12. Learn a new sport ,may be lawn tennis/swimming - Have time only during weekend and am left with no energy to play.

13. Visit goa,singapore,rajasthan n thailand - Postponed to next year.

14. Save money n spend new year eve in US with smarth n puneet - Have saved enough money for this but with friend's marriage coming up in january, am not taking off in december.

15. Atleast complete half of the above 14 - Difficult to say, but am happy J

Anamika

  Jab tak saans hai,

     tab tak ek aas hai,

     Kahi to hogi wo,

     jiski mujhe talaash hai.

     Ek chehra jo dhundla sa dikhai deta hai,

     ek aawaz jo aahat si sunai padti hai,

     khwabon mein jo aati hai,

     kahi to uski bhi ek buniyad hai.

         

     Mat de aur sitam khuda mere,

     kahi to tujhe bhi ye yaad hai,

     maangta hu tujhse roz usse,

     haar raha tujhpar se mera vishwaas hai.

     kar raha hu intezaar jiska,

                                                              aaj bhi uska ek ehsaas hai

                                                              na jaane kyu nahi maanta ye dil,

                                                              shayad isika naam pyaar hai.


- Rauuullll
 26-09-11

Love for Life

No  no , am not talking about any girl. Am talking about football and music. :D

These two am sure will stay my love for life. Music is something that really cheers me up and football is something about which I can endlessly talk.

And now living in Chennai, these two are the only things which keeps me busy and happy for the time I don’t work in office. My day starts with alarm which is a song that wakes me up by 6 30 am. Next hour I spend getting ready whilst laptop plays my favorite songs. I get into the car and first thing I do is to set up my music system. Rest of the day I spend in office working.

But at same time am excited about the weekend. Because football matches happen at weekend. Have found many EPL fans in office and its fun to discuss with them the happenings in the league, take a dig at each other’s favorite team, though the banter is not upto the level it was in college.

Its not just because of this I love football and music. Somewhere I realize that I have made friends also because of my love for football and music. After end of Btech , everyone moved on to different cities for work and got busy in their lives. But everyone missed the football talks and used to get in touch on Monday to discuss the football weekend matches. Well Guys are Guys. J

And music, I never expected but music has played a big role in my life till now. Somehow I always feel the choice of music explains a bit about an individual personality and more often than not have seen it come true. Some of the best moments in my life I remember the song being played in the background and as always no long drive is possible without music.

Am not sure what passion means, everyone has different interpretation for it . But if it means something which you want to have and do for life then definitely music and football are the ones for me.

In My Memories

With time, tears will definitely stop rolling down the eyes. However to live life, eventually one needs to make an effort to smile.

Take today’s date and try to remember how your life was on this date in 2010, 2009, 2008. Not that difficult I guess. A little bit of thought on this and you will know if your life is moving in right direction.

I do this, quite often. Not intentionally, it just occurs to me time to time. Like it happened today. I remember a year ago this date I was excited and busy planning my future, deciding what career path I wish to take. 2009 First term exams in college, life was super hectic and bad. I wasn’t sure where life was actually moving both personally and professionally. 2008 I was actually in the best phase of my life. I can term that time as “Perfect “both personally and professionally. Was about to start my first job and was about to rise in love which finally was a big fall. 2007 seventh semester of Btech , had three jobs in hand , was having great time playing all kind of sports with friends.

So stupidly if I try to plot it in graph ( I guess my job has made me analyze everything with charts and graphs) , if 2007 was good  then 2008 was great. 2009 surely the lowest point in graph. 2010 the curve had again a positive slope.

Now comes the main question. Can I say September 17,2011 the curve is still heading north. Strangely, Mind says YES, heart says NO. That means professionally kinda yes, am happy with the way things are turning up. But personally a Big No. Away from family, living single life, its not that great.

I miss my life the way it was this very date in 2008 and if given a chance am ready to go back in time to this very date in 2008 and start again from there.  I have heard many people say they have no regrets about what has happened in past but I do have and I feel those people just lie because they are afraid to accept it.

The only good thing about the mistakes I did is that I have learned from them. Atleast I don’t repeat my mistakes. And I remember those golden days in 2008 with a smile.

I suggest you guys give it a shot and try to remember where you were this date last 4-5 years and do you miss something or are you very much happy with where you are right now. A simple thing to do , will take 10 minutes but I do believe will make you smile and feel good about life.

Just Let it Go

“pa pa pa pa...pa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra !!!!! “

Season 4 Episode 6. That is what I just finished of “How I met your Mother “. Oh, ya finally am watching this series. Credit goes to one of my friend, she talked so much about it that finally I started watching it. Initially I was reluctant to it thinking that it will be just another romantic series but no it is actually fun to watch.

 One of the reasons because of which I didn’t want to watch it has actually got justified. I always thought watching such a series will make me try to link some part of my life with it. And now as I am on season 4 I can definitely say YES.

So this Episode actually has made me write this one. Had a déjà vu feeling watching  this one. Here Ted talks about how to deal with a break up . There are three options : 1) Swallow your anger 2) Throw it on someone’s face and 3) Just let it go.

Third option at first thought sounds so impractical. How can one just forget what happened. One keeps looking to just burst out at the other person or stay in pain till the time the anger goes down. But here I do agree when Ted said that the third option if implemented actually helps you get out of it and then move on with life in a good and happy way.

There cant be any other good way other than to forget something which we know is not going to work out. No point in crying what we are sure is not going to come back. The best way to see it as Ted had thought of a line to say to her  ( * with some of my words added ) “ Its not me who is going to lose out on something , You have just made the biggest mistake of your life” .

The Real Act

“Life is a stage and we all are actors “

I always had the desire to watch live plays (theatre) . And I shared that desire with her, so we decided to watch it together. Alas, it never happened. Every time I crossed that road near CP where there is theatre, it reminded me of her and the promise.

After that, I planned it with college friends to go and watch it. However, some plans die as plans. It never really happened. But I decided I will definitely watch a play this year.

Now in Chennai, there is nothing to do on weekends. Seriously, there is one good mall Express Avenue and on weekends its crowded like crazy. Seems almost half of Chennai is in that mall. People come up with their super extended families (parents, kids, distant cousins) and walk in the mall for hours. And if you want to watch a movie in Chennai on Saturday or Sunday, you have to book ticket by Wednesday, oh no by Tuesday night 2 am (online ticket opens Tuesday midnight ) . I tried once Wednesday morning before going to office and the show was houseful.

As it’s said everything happens for good, so when I asked a local friend “IS there anything to do on weekends “, then she told me that the concept of live theatre is quite popular here. And wow when I searched it online, I found it is true indeed. So two months I have been here in Chennai, I have watched 3 plays and stand up comedies. Its fun and I really enjoyed watching live theatre.

Next month am going for the fourth one, have booked tickets for it. It will be second time am going to watch Naseeruddin Shah live on stage. Incidentally, the first play ever I watched was his only. His presence on stage is phenomenal.

If you never have watched live theatre then I recommend atleast try it once. It is worth an experience.

Aahatein ho rahi teri

Another song added to the  list of my favorites :) . Its by Agnee.

Aahatein, ho rahin teri,
Dil ke dar pe mere,
Tu yahin hai kahin na kahin.
Aahatein, ho rahin teri,
Dil ke dar pe mere,
Tu yahin hai kahin.

Kabhi mere khwab sa,
Kabhi uljhe jawaab sa,
Ke chanda mein bhi daag sa,
Mere jaisa tu.
Ke dariya ka ho ik sira,
Ke armaano ka silsila,
Ke sehra mein bhi aab sa,
Mere jaisa tu, mere jaisa tu.

Aahatein, ho rahin teri,
Dil ke dar pe mere,
Tu yahin hai kahin na kahin.


Tera hoon main, tujhe kyon na yaqeen hai!
Chaahat mein meri aakhir kya kami hai?
Tujhme hi toh chhupi meri khudi hai.
Meri khudi kuch na sahi.
Kuch na sahi, Kuch na sahi.

Aahatein, ho rahin teri,
Dil ke dar pe mere,
Tu yahin hai kahin.

Kabhi mere khwab sa,
Kabhi uljhe jawaab sa,
Ke chanda mein bhi daag sa,
Mere jaisa tu.
Ke tu hi dariya ka he ik sira,
Ke armaanon ka silsila,
Ke sehra mein bhi aab sa,
Mere jaisa tu, mere jaisa tu.

Aahatein, ho rahin teri,
Dil ke dar pe mere,
Tu yahin hai kahin na kahin.

Unfriend

The word “Unfriend” was named the word of the year by Oxford dictionary in 2009. Unfriend was defined as a verb that means to remove someone as a "friend" on a social networking site such as Facebook.

It clearly shows how the virtual world has become a kind of communicator to the people who are actually a part of your real world. I have read in newspapers many times in past year or so with some people claiming that they got to know of being dumped by their partner only when they saw their online relationship status. Wow, isn’t it cool as in that is a easy way of calling it quits. No listening to abuses or crying, just a change in status online to signal to the whole world that am available again. :D

I have also been at the receiving end of this term “Unfriend” . No no, I haven’t been dumped online but I have been unfriended and also been blocked a few times in past 2 years. Naah, am not telling the exact number but thankfully it is in single digits only.  :D Reasons were quite bad , fall out or a fight in most of the cases that had meant zero talking. However this new step of “Unfriend” was taken by the others that shows I was strong enough to face them still. J God bless them all.

Maintaining the virtual world had become quite a task for me now. I rarely find time to blog  , its maximum of 1 or 2 posts every weekend. Then I do like to know about what is happening in my friends lives, but it got difficult to go through 1000 or more pending most recent updates. Then again it had become really difficult to see who all of the people I talk to (or other way around people who do find time to talk to me J ) are online on gtalk and FB.

Therefore, I found a fundoo way out. I spent around half an hour yesterday. Went through all my FB friend list and selected the few people whom I wish to follow and added them in a list and tadaaa now everynight when I come online I have very few updates. Thankfully now I don’t have to read the updates like “ XYZ is feeling happy that ABC is back home “ , “ABC is feeling lonely” . God , if you are feeling lonely or you are happy then savor/hate the moment , don’t put it on FB.

Ditto I did with gtalk, now my gtalk list has at a given point of time only 4-5 friends online, not around 40-50 as earlier.

There are other avenues open to converse for me with others and viceversa, like phone, FB message and gmail, which I guess have become secondary modes of communication nowadays. Therefore, I guess nothing bad about what I did. J

Wow, its not difficult to maintain life in virtual world now . J

Steps for next week, update linkedin profile and also FB profile. Need to change my current location from Delhi. L

Dreams Limited

One thing that fascinated me about the movie Inception was that what if we could control our dreams. Every night we would have good dreams and wake up in morning with a smile.

I guess some of the dreams which will make me smile are : am a football player , then driving formula 1 car , then settled down happily in Delhi , romantic dates , enjoying life with friends.

I always have had a belief that what we see in dreams is not actually what we want but they are somewhere related to what we think or do the entire day. I do not know how much this is true but atleast it happens with me. I remember there was a time when the only dreams I had were related to sports, then there was a time when the dreams/nightmares were related to a girl , then there was time when I used to do software coding even in dreams. These all were related to what work or what was happening in my life that period.

So I guess I can say that the dreams we see are somewhere related to what is happening in life. Dreams are not actually what we dream of.

And this brings me to the dreams I have these days. As expected they are related to work. The good thing is that it means that I don’t think about any other things in life, and my whole day goes in work in office. The sad thing is that somewhere it means there is nothing else happening in my life, nothing exciting. I think for past 2-3 years I had got used to something happening or the other and now strangely am not getting used to a peaceful life. :D

Am not sure what I actually want , a peaceful life or some twist. Hopefully whatever will happen , will happen for good. J