Sunday, 10 July 2011

Right here waiting for you

Kahi to, kahi to hogi wo , duniyaan jaha tu mere saath hai.
Jahaan main jahaan tu , aur jahaa bas tere mere jasbaat hai.
                                    Hogi jahaa subah teri palkon ki kiron mein
                                    Lori jahaa chand ki sune teri baahon mein.
Jaane na kaha vo duniyaan hai, jaane na vo hai bhi ya nahi
                                    Janaa meri zindagi mujhse itni khafa nahi.”
Every guy has a dream girl in his mind. Most of my close girl-friends have told me about their dream guy, so I guess I can say every girl has a dream guy in her mind. I have got this advice from many to separate the dream from reality and live the reality. And as per them the reality is in real life you don’t get a dream girl. I have argued over this a lot; have discussed it zillion times with some of you guys.  Somewhere I understand what you are saying is right but then some part of me is still unconvinced about that.
Dreams as per I understand are something which we wish to have in our life. So if I read it other way around, I dream of a girl almost every night, so that means I wish to have her in my life. No no , the biggest problem of Rauuullll  isn’t solved yet, there is a catch. I haven’t seen her face in my dream.  Being an optimist,  I see that as a good thing . The good thing is I don’t see a face, I don’t see anyone related to my past in her. Yes , I don’t see THE girl in her.
OK, she is not her but I admit she is close to her as in she has to be the girl which I talked about I think in my second post “Category of Girls “. I don’t think that girl can be termed as hypothetical. I don’t know the feeling which I once experienced in my life was of love/crush/flirt/lust etc but I truly remember that feeling was amazing and pure.
I always knew she deserved someone better than me, am not her level in terms of looks , intellectually I guess I was close if not better J . After that day, I have been told that I made some blunders, termed stupid by some and very stupid by others.  I don’t hesitate even a bit to accept the fact that being a very normal guy, I guess god had been little kind to me to have met/linked/dated/liked few girls and it was kind of bold decision by me not to move ahead. I admit every time I took that decision I was damn scared , scared that am leaving this girl and in future  I might not find my ‘ dream girl ‘, so I might end up alone. But I always took that decision because I never wanted to be that bad guy to pass time waiting for THE girl. I could not kill my consciousness.
Its been long time now I am waiting for her. I have seen others moving on and finding someone and I feel happy for them. I have seen others leaving me and moving on and being happy, but I do not feel bad about it because I do believe life is a leveler and they are actually on the path to finally feel the same pain that I did when they left me.
I do believe that its better to be single than being in a relationship which is not from heart. But at same time I do accept the fact that I was cautioned by some of you that it is getting little tougher approaching mid-twenties and still being single. J L

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