Sunday 1 December 2013

Turning 27

One interesting thing I noted on my birthday couple of days back was that I ended up spending my last four birthdays in different cities. The 26th one was in Chennai (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2012/11/happy-birthday-to-me.html), the 25th one was in Kolkata (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/11/turning-25.html), and the 24th one was at home in Delhi.

Never thought about this at the start of the year, but as my favorite quote reads “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” I ended up spending my birthday in a different city, Bangalore.  

Over the last few years or so, I always preferred to not to work or study on my birthday. During college days, I always took off. Even my last two birthdays, I took off/half day from work. Unluckily, had no such option this time and it proved to be the busiest birthday of my life so far. I eventually got couple of hours time late evening and had good dinner with a friend, few calls from friends n family who remembered its my birthday J. (P.S.  I know am going to get a call from couple of friends soon who follow my blog, and they are going to put the blame on me of not having birthday update activated on FB :D).

I guess this post is incomplete if I don’t explicitly thank couple of close and special friends for making the birthday so so so special, with their wishes and beautiful  and amazing gifts J. Lucky to have you in my life. Thanks again. J


Strangely am excited already for my next birthday to find out which city I celebrate it in. :D

Sunday 24 November 2013

Those sunny days – II

Everyone says that the first job is special, for some its special because that’s the first time they feel a sense of being independent, for some its special because it’s the first time they earn money.

For me the first job is special for entire different set of reasons. The list of the reasons is very long. But one of the reasons is that it was in first job back in 2008-09 I started writing. Oh yes, it was back then in those sunny days (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/04/those-sunny-days.html), when first time in my life I bought a diary to start writing. And that diary remains the only time I wrote with utmost honesty and truth.

For couple of months in that period, it was my only friend. It kind of provided my with a sense of comfort. Every night I used to scribble down my thoughts in it. I never wrote anything on this diary after that period.  When I read them after couple of years – I realized that some of the thoughts in it were very beautiful, but some of them were really scary and weird. So I decided to keep it away from everyone and hence as a precaution keep it with myself not in my home in delhi. I dont think so anyone has read it except me. J


For lot of people, clicking pictures is a way to remember things.  For me its writing – this blog, that diary. It reminds me of the feelings I had at a particular time of my life. It reminds me of what I was going through then. More importantly it reminds me of what I thought about my life.

Monday 18 November 2013

Out of comfort zone – II

All good things come to an end…… If moving on is difficult – it shows how good the time has been.

Things are almost perfect – almost like a dream. Then, eventually a time comes when you need to wake up from the dream and face reality. I am happy in my comfort zone and a big part of me want to stay in it. It want to stay in it forever.

However, I guess it is the past (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/12/out-of-comfort-zone.html) which has made me strong enough to take up the challenge and move forward. I admit I feel scared taking decisions that change the surroundings around me. I like things to stay as they are.  I guess this is where the support of my family and friends come into play – they give me the courage to take such kind of decisions. Sometimes, I feel surprised that how much they trust me to take decisions independently including trusting me even at a point when I was not ready to trust myself back in 2008-09.

Many people including me struggle to take that important decision. A decision that is going to make the near future tough, a decision that can turn the life upside down, a decision which if it goes wrong can make your life living hell. On a positive side, if it goes right then the risk taken is more than well compensated.  

Sometimes you have to think ahead of time and take a decision. A decision which most of the people will disagree with as they don’t have the vision like you have. These are the toughest ones because they put you completely out of the comfort zone alone in a box.

 As expected 2013 is turning out to be a year to remember both for good and bad reasons...second best year in terms of learning experience so far..

Sunday 10 November 2013

The little HUMAN inside me

Sometimes I wonder if we humans who are the most intelligent species on this planet are actually at the same time the worst species too. And yes, I am like you a part of it and am doing nothing to change that. To make the matters worse, its not just that we are bad to other species like animals, we are bad to other humans too.

The good human inside me sometimes feels pity about the beggar on the road, a street dog shivering in the cold, poor people not having money for the medicines, a small hungry kid sleeping on the road etc. I think about it for max 2-3 minutes and then get back to my normal life. I don’t take a step forward and try to do anything to change that. I am not sure if I can bring a change in the society or in the lives of the needy people/animals.

I have always been asked by many quite curiously that how on earth a Punjabi like me who lived in Delhi for more than 20 years has turned vegetarian.  As an individual I feel that as a human being by being a vegetarian I am listening to the little human inside me who wants to respect the animals and feels sad knowing that we humans actually end up killing animals – again its my perception and I don’t try to preach it because its none of my business. J

I feel sad reading in newspapers about how people sacrifice animals for religious reasons. I think that is one of the strong reasons because of which am agnostic as if god exists he would have done something to stop this unless he actually likes to see people killing animals which I highly doubt. I don’t understand why something is not done to stop all this and why people feel happy after this. How can good happen to you by killing someone????

The little human do keep asking me such questions from time to time and I keep thinking about them but find it really hard to get a satisfactory answer.


Sunday 27 October 2013

The clueless times

Sometimes you don’t know what you are running after but you continue to run. May be, you   are running from the situation or trying to find time to sort it at the right moment. 

Sometimes, some things happen which create a feeling of emptiness and you try to fill it with time.

Sometime, you know you have let quite a few people down unintentionally – but you cannot apologize for that.

Sometimes you just want to see the future, you are not interested in the present and want to forget the past.

Sometimes are crazy times – Sometimes you just have to wait for time to pass. J

Saturday 12 October 2013

The hidden answers

Despite what happened (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/08/and-everything-stopped-for-moment.html), he always had one fantasy. It was to meet her once again (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/10/love-or-desire.html), something like Alfred expressed in The Dark Knight rises. He also fantasized about just an eye contact with her – an eye contact to express that they both are happy in their own lives, they both have buried the past and now what they have is nothing more than mutual respect for each other. He always felt that this one minute of eye contact will make him feel better, it will give him answer to all the things which remained as questions with the end of relationship. Whilst the meeting never happened, but with time he found all the answers from the most likely source.

He found the answers from himself as time passed. Time made him realize that there is more to life than her. From one view of him not being good enough for her, he found the lost self-confidence of believing that he was meant for someone better. From being afraid to communicate with strangers, he again started viewing them without any preconceived notions. Above all, he reclaimed his individuality and beliefs.

Today he is not waiting for that one moment. Yes the thought about her do cross his mind once in a while but the feeling is just of respect and a bit of anger about how things ended. He does not need any answers as he has already found the most important answer.


 “When everything has been said and done, its best to leave it that way.”

Wednesday 2 October 2013

A minute of fame

I guess I was one of the late adopters of facebook. I eventually came on facebook when I heard people were actually questioning my existence as I could not be found on the social networking site (The same is happening again now as am not on WhatsApp, damn I hate technological evolution in social networking :D).

The biggest reason for the success of facebook is that it has given everyone of us a shortcut to “A minute of fame”. Well, if you are doing something that you want to “boast” about – put it on facebook. You want to show your ex how happy you are without him/her – simple put it on facebook. It is your “A minute of fame” and make everyone else notice you. I am fine with all these – but the ones where people tell how much they love their parents/friends/pets, I find that really irritating sometimes. Common, your pet is not on facebook – please go and kiss him in real rather than sending a kiss virtually on his facebook page created by you only.

I guess its fine till the time you are doing it for “A minute of fame” and not bothered more about it. It is bad if you start getting affected by it: “Oh no, only 5 likes”, “Did he notice my status – how can I find out”, “Let me think what I should put today on facebook”. People like these I call them “virtual” people – people who bother more about their online life as compared to real life.


I seriously wonder sometimes what the next evolution will be in social networking. Definitely facebook is just the beginning – there is more to come. Hopefully by then, I would have atleast migrated to WhatsApp. J

Tuesday 24 September 2013

Gossip – The social conundrum

I was never a topic of gossip during my school and engineering days. One way to look at it is that I had a very clean image, but the other way to look at it is that my life was boring or I was not at all considered worthy to be a topic of gossips. :D

Things changed when I moved to Infosys. Oh yes, I was famous in Infosys – for both right and wrong reasons and was a topic of gossip for some. It did hurt me when I was being talked about in the campus for wrong reasons. I did have arguments and fights in stopping those gossips but it made the situation worse.
Things further changed when I moved to MBA. Whilst I was able to maintain quite a low profile in the first year, things did get little messy in the second year and was stupidly linked to someone or the other don’t know how and why.  I did became a topic of some gossip. But this time, I behaved little maturely. I did have a couple of arguments but then decided to just leave it and not allow it to affect me.


It surprises me that even today I do become a topic of gossip - no matter how much I keep myself as low profile. I have realized that be it school, college or office – Gossip is a big part of social interaction and it is something that will impact me from time to time. I know that I too sometimes indulge in this but I always ensure that it is harmless. I do think before saying anything. What really irritates me is that when someone says something about me to common friends without any base. And the rumor spreads like fire. So So stupid. What I do as a reaction is to just SMILE , don’t defend myself and ignore it. J

Monday 23 September 2013

The blank dreams

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” 

As a kid/teenager, I dreamt of being famous. Sometimes as a cricketer winning the world cup, sometimes as a tennis player winning the Wimbledon, sometimes as a F1 driver winning the Monaco Grand Prix, sometimes as a footballer playing in the EPL, and yes sometimes as a politician changing the country for the good. Once awake, I carried on with my normal school/college life letting those dreams fade away. Those were childish dreams and I never ever thought of seriously pursuing any of them. I call them blank dreams.

I think I lacked the focus or drive to achieve any of those dreams. I never ever tried for any of them seriously. I was super happy living an ordinary life – 8 am to 2 pm school, come back home rest , do homework , go out and play, come back have dinner and sleep. I enjoyed it. I never ever thought about my future. I never had the firepower to try and do something extraordinary.

Today also a part of it holds true. Yes I admit that. I am not trying to do anything extraordinary to get noticed. But at the same time, I do believe that I will make a difference one day and somewhere if I keep this belief, make the right career choices and put in the hard work required I will definitely make a difference and make myself heard one day. 

Saturday 21 September 2013

You are the one


“The smile on your face
Lets me know that you need me.
There's a truth in your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me.
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall”

I am no expert in love, if there was any degree in love then I would have definitely be amongst the quarter percentile. But yes like everyone I have my own viewpoint about what is love and how do one get to know if it is love. I guess its about the belief, and I have the belief in what I think about love and that made me wait for it. (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/07/right-here-waiting-for-you.html)

What makes me believe in you is the fact that I know you will also stand by me come what may happen,
What makes me to dream about you is because I know you believe in my dreams too,
What makes me be true to you is because I know you are what you are with me,
What makes me adore you is your child like demands and the next moment mature talks,
What makes me listen to you is that you never give me a chance to speak,
What makes me think of a future with you is the fact that I am loving my present thinking about you,
What makes me wait for you is that I know you are there somewhere waiting for me too,
What makes me love you is that YOU COMPLETE ME in every sense.

“Tum Ho To Gata Hai Dil
Tum Nahi To Geet Khaan
Tum Ho To Hai Sab Hasil
Tum Nahi To Kya Hai Yahan

Tum Ho To Hai Sapno Ke Jaisa Hasin Ek Sama

Jo Tum Ho To
Yeh Lagta Hai
Ki Mil Gaya Har Khushi
Jo Tum Na Ho
Yeh Lagta Hai
Ki Har Khushi Main Hai Kami
Tum Ko Hai Mangti Yeh Zindagi”



Tuesday 17 September 2013

Small fish in big pond – Part V

There is always a fear if you are a small fish – the fear of being eaten by a big fish. Oh yes, come how much you believe in yourself, its difficult to escape from big fishes. They want to rule the pond and they cannot let you become the king. It’s the way evolution works – Survival of the fittest. You need to be both smart and strong to survive.

Well if such a situation arises, there are only two options that I can think of. One stand firm and fight with them and 99% of the times get killed or second find another pond. The third one which some would say is wise thing to do is to wait patiently for a storm and hope that it takes the big fishes out of the pond and clear the way for you.

I in past always went for another pond option. Fighting I never considered as an option because I don’t think it helps anyone and never yield the desired results. Moreover, I believe most of the things can be sorted out peacefully. Waiting for a storm I am no longer able to do – I don’t have the patience anymore for it. If I want something and I know I deserve it – I prefer going ahead with it at any cost.


P.S. Strangely writing this post reminded me of a historical happening wherein a small fish (Mangal Pandey) died fighting alone with the Britishers (Big fish). I know his death is considered by many as the one who started the uprising but may be shifting the pond (striking at the right time) would have been a better option then.

Wednesday 11 September 2013

Remember the time


I always knew one day am gonna lose you from the day I brought you home. The fear of losing you was at its peak for last few months. Every time I left you at home, I had a fear that will I be able to see you again. I never could imagine all this coming true and today when one of my deepest fears has come true I don’t know how to react to it. Yes for me you are the first one to go from the earth whom I loved truly madly deeply.

Thank you Dugdug for all the love, affection and happiness you brought to our home. We will miss you every moment for the rest of our lives. I am sorry I could not be with you during your last few days. Thank you for taking care of mom and dad, mom specially – I know you both shared a special bond.

I will miss you a lot – I cannot imagine getting home and you not barking and running towards me at the gate. I cannot imagine me being there and you not pestering me to go for a walk. I cannot imagine you not sitting with me at midnight and waiting for me to switch off the light so that you get relieved of your duties to stay awake till everyone is asleep. I cannot imagine my life without you. I love you a lot.


I hope you can read all this now - please come back to my life again in some form or the other. Please come back soon. I wish you are happy wherever you are right now and blessing us from there. Thank you again for everything Dugdug. Love you.

Tuesday 10 September 2013

The jealous me

Yes, I feel jealous of you. I do. I feel jealous that you tend to feel happy at such small small things in life which I despite trying am not able to.

I feel jealous when you get happy on getting 50 likes on your facebook profile picture – I have not even felt like changing/updating pic for years.

I feel jealous that you become happy at the prospect of getting to drink wine and vodka – I don’t feel like drinking at all.

I feel jealous that you get happy at the end of month on getting salary even if you have not done anything good in job – I at the end of month reflect if I have learnt something new and added value to my knowledge base.

I feel jealous that you are not concerned about your future – I am concerned if I will be able to achieve my dream.

I feel jealous that you have got chance to go abroad and visit different places – I never got the opportunity and at same time despite planning several times it never happened.


I feel jealous of YOU – Yes I do feel jealous. And this jealously motivates me in life to succeed and love myself more. So effectively I am proud of it.

Sunday 8 September 2013

The little break


Oh yeah – finally I gifted myself a break of 48 hours. A break from what all is happening around me (some good and some not that good). I had promised myself one in June (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2013/05/tham-jaa-zindagi.html) but it never happened. I went home once after that in July to give myself a break but things did not go as planned then. I ended up in delhi for around 10 days but never got a moment to relax then. And to make matters worse I could not go home on Rakhi as I had taken lot of leaves in July itself. Anyways, sometimes things like these happens J.

Its an extended weekend and I am happily lazing around, staying alone at home – no human presence around me. I think 3 posts in the last 2 days sum up the weekend for me. J I am watching movies (watched K3G 100th time), formula 1 race, big bang theory etc etc etc. Plus connected with a lot of people after a long time. So in all happy happy lazy weekend.

But yes at the back of my mind there are lot of thoughts analysis going on. I am trying my best to avoid them and somewhere have been successful. I wish there was some way to switch off mind temporarily and just do what your heart wants. :D


P.S. One more song added in my list during the weekend, relatively old song but I have started liking it now – Ishq vala Love from a stupid and idiotic movie Student of the Year

In your shoes

Many people call me too mature for my age. They say that I am a serious kind of guy, I need to get little loose (not in character :P) in my life and let life take its own course rather than me trying my hard to control it. One strength which a lot of my friends appreciate a lot is that I am a good listener and apparently give good advice and motivate people to excel in their lives. Above all, they know that I am not going to tell about our discussion to anyone – they know I will never let down on this. J

Well, I don’t know how much truth is in all this but since it’s a large number of people who say this so am more than happy to believe in this except for that serious and mature kind of guy. :D

How I give advice? Its very simple. I just put myself in the other person’s shoes and start to think of what I would have done in that situation – what are the problems I will face in that situation, what will be the pros and cons of the solution I am suggesting. The one thing which I take care is that I don’t end up suggesting a solution or path that should be taken (specially in case of romantic issues :D). I just give all the possible paths and let the other person decide the final path.



There are very few people to whom I go for a advice. Frankly most of the times I end up discussing things with myself only. I believe its not because of I don’t have people around me with whom I feel I can discuss, its just may be my introvert nature when it comes to my personal life. I think my experience in past has made me very cautious to discuss about my life with other people except for very few close friends and obviously family.

P.S. I think the credit for my listening quality deserves to go to the women in my life (starting from my two elder sisters to my female friends, they have never allowed me to speak much till now L )

Saturday 7 September 2013

I, me and myself

The best quality that you can have is to understand yourself. That allows you to take control of yourself when things are not going right. It allows you to ensure that things don’t get worse.

I guess everyone tries to do that. But not many succeed, because they don’t understand themselves, they don’t understand what situation they are in and hence they fail to realize what is needed to be done to get out of it.

Am glad that somewhere am not in that league of people. I am a good friend of myself. I am not scared to face the situation, I don’t try to run away from it. I am able to understand my mood and adjust to it accordingly. Say for e.g. if I am in an angry/furious mood I try not to communicate much with other people. If am in a sad mood, then I try to find some activity to give my mind a break.

But sadly yes sometimes the situation do get better off me and things get little out of hand. And what I hate about this the most is that because of me other people get affected. I guess I lose myself during these times and get into a kind of mode where I don’t care about anyone else, Its just I, me and myself.


Thankfully these kind of moments have been very rare in my life and hopefully I don’t get to face them more in future. 

Thursday 5 September 2013

Its my DREAM

There is a dialogue in one of my favorite films ‘The pursuit of happyness’ – “You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period."

The movie and this specific scene has always been one of my biggest inspirations. Whenever am feeling demotivated or let down, I start watching this movie. It brings a tear in my eyes everytime I watch this movie but at the same time it motivates me. It reminds me that Rauuullll no matter what happens, no matter whoever says what, don’t let your dreams die (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/03/dreams.html). Don’t let anyone ruin it. Don’t let anyone try to change it. Above all, don’t let anyone take away your belief in that very dream. In the end, its my DREAM and I have the right to pursue it.


I don’t know how achievable my dreams are, I don’t know how realistic my vision is. But I know one thing that I will enjoy pursuing it and may be that is what it is all about. At least I will always have the satisfaction that I PROTECTED MY DREAM !!!!!


Monday 2 September 2013

The feeling of helplessness

I hate this feeling – the feeling where am helpless, am not able to control the situation around me, I cant do anything to make things better, I don’t know how I can work my way out. I am just sitting, sitting and sitting with a hope that things will eventually fall in place. I hate this feeling – its PATHETIC. To complicate the situation – my mind do a wonderful job. It keeps on thinking and reminding me about all this.

One thing I fail at badly is to pass time in these kind of situations. I am terrible at this despite trying my real hard. I do try to keep my mind away from all this by either going out with friends, watching a movie etc etc but subconsciously my mind and heart is still in that situation. I am not able to get out of it unless am actually out of it.


I don’t know how others are able to deal with these kind of situations. I fail to do it, if you know me well, one look at my face and you can easily make out that something is wrong. I don’t know how to deal with it. I think its down to the fact that somehow I have lost patience in life which I had in abundance when I was a kid. Now its like if I want something at some point of time, I go after it badly and try to get it at any cost. I don’t like to wait specially for others.

Seems like I have lot to work out and improve in this aspect. Otherwise this pathetic feeling will keep on getting on my nerves in future too. DAMN!!!!!!


Thursday 29 August 2013

Mera number bhi aayega


I have been a proponent of the theory of relativity only if its used in the right way in life – i.e. to motivate yourself (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/04/theory-of-relativity.html). Things go wrong if you start treating it in a negative way. Things go worse if you let it affect you. Then there is no way out.

No matter how much I believe in this, in the end sometimes I also do get affected by this. Sometimes, it makes me wonder what is it which is not letting me realize my potential whilst the world is moving ahead than me. Sometimes it do make me feel jealous of others. Sometimes it makes me irritated and frustrated. A few times it makes me cry too.

It is here where I think I start to lose the plot and the situation and life takes a u-turn. Normally most of the times its my family and close friends who come to rescue but strangely I guess I have found one more rescuer, and very strangely its my own blog, the random thoughts which I wrote couple of years back. 

Reading the old posts remind me about what I stood for in the past , what I wanted to achieve in my life and most importantly how I wanted to walk the path. I guess today is the first time I actually have found the real purpose of what made me start blogging and how it will remain a part of my life till the last day.

P.S. http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/03/happiness.html made me understand and write this post.

Saturday 24 August 2013

The balance in life

I think we all struggle with this – the right balance in life. We all struggle to juggle between our professional and personal life. You want to be there in both – but only a few are lucky to have that. Rest just keep on trying to keep the balance.
Most of the times, your mind is on the professional side but your heart is on the other. It’s a constant fight – of what to do next. Should I make an effort, should I make a compromise or should I leave it all and do what the heart wants. Or should I listen to my mind and give everything more time.

I remember the first time I faced this situation was as expected the famous 2008-09 debacle. Then I listened to my heart, I think one of the most courageous decisions I ever took in my life and the most correct one too. It was an inevitable situation. Thinking of that situation is enough to send shivers down my spine. But that was a one off situation which I hope I never face again.



I think sometimes a compromise is the right solution for some time. A drastic step might not help – you might feel good for a day or a month or a year but later on you might end up regretting it for life. The best way out is to strive for the best, do all the hard work to get the right balance and a better future both personally and professionally. In the end, if you actually put in the efforts to get the right balance between both, you will definitely succeed.

Why am I writing this all, what am I referring to, even I don’t know. I guess may be am beginning to feel the side effects of lack of balance in life or may be it’s a cluttered mind creation. Who knows….

Sunday 14 July 2013

No one raped Nirbhaya

I was ridiculed by many – some said that you were in Delhi but you still did not go to Jantar Mantar for the rally, few said that you have not shared facebook thread supporting the so called revolution demanding justice, some ridiculed me when I said that this so called revolution is not the right way and we youngistan as refered by the crazy publicity hungry politicians cant change anything about the country.

Today if I go to most of the people refered above and ask them about the status of the case, am sure (and already observed) they have no clue about the progress. They are back to their normal lives and like all the others forgotten the incident and moved on. The media has lost interest in this case as it no longer generates TRPs. The female politicians and actors are no longer interested in raising voice for the safety of women. The only thing that will wake these all up is another rape, which does keep happening in our country everyday but are not sensationalized by media as they have other news to keep them occupied.

I am keeping a track of the progress of the case via newspapers. And everytime I read an update I feel sad. No not because of the above mentioned people – I give a damn to them. The reason I feel sad is because I do not see the change happening which I feel is needed for the safety of women in our country – strong investigation team and judicial system. One of the juvenile accused and another of the accused have out rightly rejected their presence in the bus itself. It’s been more than seven months, not even one of the accused (accept the one who according to police committed suicide in the jail) has been still handed the verdict of being hanged till death. So either the investigation team wrongly picked up innocent people or the judicial system/ investigation agency are so bad that they can’t wrap up the case fast. In either of these, I believe is the biggest reason that gives courage to a sick mentality animal kind of human being to commit these horrendous crimes. My heart goes out for the poor parents who are now fighting the lonely battle and losing it day in and day out.

So what am I doing – nothing. I can’t do anything, I don’t have the power to do anything except for writing this here and remembering it for a day where I hope I or you have the power. The power to bring about a change. The power to be one of the leaders of the country. I hope then we don’t act like the people who are in power today and leave it for the next generation (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2013/01/we-people.html).


Sunday 30 June 2013

You are the reason why I smile

Oh yes, you are one of the biggest reasons of my smile. Your presence around me has brought a sense of peace in my life. I am grateful that despite my shortcomings you have accepted me the way I am…you have accepted me with my tantrums, you respect my opinions, you are always there for me and above all you trust me. I cannot stand the thought of losing you, you are such an integral part of my life. My life will be incomplete without you.

Each one of us are lucky to have such people in our lives. From parents, to siblings, to close friends, to life partner. They are the people who stand by you even if the world is against you. It is amazing to spend your life around those people. But sometimes we get so much involved with ourselves, that we forget our responsibility towards them and regret it later on.

I guess somewhere we as a generation are too materialistic. We are too much in love with gadgets, facebook account and ourselves, that we are ignoring the real world and people around us. In the effort to make our present better, we are not thinking about future. I guess for some people the smile for a given moment is directly proportional to the number of likes on the status related to it on facebook.


I am thankful that the people who bring a smile to my face are sane and they do have time for me and are not lost in virtual fake world. 

Monday 17 June 2013

You just keep trying...

There are times in life when everything around you seems to be useless...you feel why am I even here....I dont belong here...I havent done anything so bad to deserve this....you keep thinking about all this...you try to find an answer to these questions....but you never succeed...you just keep trying...

There are times in life when you feel that you are taking steps backwards.... You are trying your level best not to do that but there seems to be a force which is pulling you back and you are helpless about it....you just keep trying...

There are times when you feel alone despite having people around you...the only person you find solace with is yourself...people around you keep on saying something or the other which for you is just utter nonsense...you just want to talk to or listen to is one person....yourself but you are not able to...you just keep trying...

There are times when you so desperately want to have a good night sleep...but everytime you close your eyes, you see a nightmare...no matter how hard you try you are not able to sleep..you dont know what to do...you just kep trying...

You just keep trying and keep up the belief that there is always a silver lining.....


Sunday 9 June 2013

And the bells rang again


After almost more than a year, I got a call from him again last month (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/04/short-real-story.html) when I was in Delhi , as always from an unknown number. He just said that he wanted to meet me asap and told me that he will pick me up in next 20 minutes. I saw the watch and it was 11:30 pm. I was damn tired but could not resist a chance to meet him.

Over the last 4 years I met (around 4-5 times), every time I saw a different guy in him. But this time, I felt the same spark in his eyes which was their in 2008-09. He was sounding really positive. Before he said something, I told him “dude seems you have a gf”. He blushed.

From here on the conversation is different with what guys have and what girls. Girls go into deep dive and take all the details about the guy, his family etc etc. Guys generally just ask one question “Is she the one or you still in look out”? :D I did not need to ask this question because I knew he is not that kind of guy to go for a random relationship.

So I reminded him about the conversation we had last year and asked him is it the same feeling he had few years back (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2012/02/clueless-he-or-me.html). I wanted to know that did he feel the violins playing, bell ringing – something he always believed in and was laughed at by many. He started by saying that precisely to tell me about this he wanted to meet me. He continued by saying that yes he heard them. But this time it was little different. This time he felt more of peace and a sense of assurance. So for next one hour , I just listened to him about how happy he is now that his decision to wait for the right person proved correct. He thanked me for telling him last year that he was in a romantically insulated stage and he needed to make an effort to get out of it. My respect for him doubled when he refused to compare his gf with his ex and said that its not right to compare. He finished off by saying that “Respect and learn from the past and present to have a better future”.

Wowww… its always been good to have a conversation with him. Wish we both had time to meet more often. It was good to be proved wrong.

When we were about to get up from our seats, suddenly I heard bells ringing. I thought it was an indication from god to me that she is somewhere there – but then I found out it was a customer who rang the bells of Pizza Hut where we were sitting. :D



Monday 6 May 2013

Tham jaa Zindagi…


Few days back, turning the page of the calendar in my office, I realized that its already the start of May. One-third of 2013 has already passed. Seems like just yesterday I was dining with my school friends at 31st December 2012. Few significant events have happened in 2013 already, but life has been moving at such a fast pace, that I never really got a chance to just sit back and savor the moments.

Somewhere it is good that so much is happening in life that I never really got a chance to ponder over things. Somewhere it is bad that am not even getting chance to celebrate few events. Part and parcel of life I guess. J

But I do realize that I need to take out time for some of the important things in life and I intend to do that from June onwards. This month of MAY is definitely going to be a crazy one and am all set for it. Hopefully post that I will be able to control the speed of my life rather than other way around. J

Already I have a list of things to do in June – a small holiday, call up friends with whom haven’t kept in touch in last few months, listen to songs, watch movies, start jogging or playing some sports, etc etc etc :D

Tham jaa zindagi…tham jaa…yahi lamha hai,…jeene de mujhe…tham jaa…tham jaa…..

Friday 29 March 2013

Songs and movies


"Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte
Tere bina kya wajood mera.
Tujh se juda agar ho jaayenge
To khud se hi ho jaayenge juda

Kyun ki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Ki zindagi ab tum hi ho..
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho"

Its difficult to convey the other person how much important she is in your life...sometimes it takes a lifetime to explain that. I wonder how much romantic these lyricist are to write such beautiful songs. After a long long time, i heard a song that is just amazing - beautiful lyrics, nicely sung. In short, mast gaanaa. 

I have realized that come what may happen, my love for romantic songs and SRK movies will stay for lifetime. I can listen to these beautiful songs non stop again n again and even today the entrance of SRK in kabhi khushi kabhi gham is enough to bring Goosebumps to me. The beautiful line " aaaaa aaa aa aa aaa...kabhi khushi kabhi gham, na judaa honge hum kabhi khushi kabhi gham " brings a small tear of happiness. I wish today's directors had the talent to make good romantic movies.

I wish I get a free weekend soon - where i can just relax n listen to nice songs and watch SRK movies ... Seems not possible anytime soon but will do that at first chance :)

Btw, if u havent heard this song then do it asap - u r missing out n something really nice. And yes, watch an SRK movie this weekend - it will be worth it.


Tuesday 12 March 2013

And I keep on walking….

"There's a place far away...I wanna be there some day"....

As expected (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2012/12/another-yearanother-step.html) 2013 is turning out to be an year to remember. I believe am moving in the right direction. I am not scared to walk alone though am blessed to have someone walking with me, holding my hand and trusting the direction am taking. The journey though difficult is definitely a memorable one….

With time, I understood how important it was to experience failure in life, how important it was to see bad times, how important it was to be alone. At the same time I understand that how critical it was to learn from all that and gather strength to get up and start walking again.


Life is not dull if you have some goal, life is not dull if you have a clear priority in life. Life is not dull even though you have to walk alone in achieving that goal. But yes life is beautiful if there is someone walking with you sharing the same goal.

When I close my eyes, I visualize where I want to be….I know that place is far away right now….but I know that I want to be there some day….and I trust myself that I will make it there one day…..and I trust that I will not be alone when I reach there….

Saturday 2 February 2013

The inner peace


“Love has no reason, no meaning and no explanation. A million poems have been written. A million songs have been sung. And yet we still can’t explain it.”

No one agreed with his thoughts about love. To the defense of everyone, his thoughts about love were weird – He always felt that he would hear bells ringing, violins playing when he falls in love. No one believed in his concept of love – everyone told him that it happens only in movies, and life is not a movie. They tried to convince him, some even tried to scare him by saying that he would end up single for life if he sticks to his belief about love. He dated few girls and every time he refused to take next step and when asked about the reason he gave the very same answer– he did not feel the connect, he did not hear the bells ringing and violins playing. As expected, he was at the receiving end of those girls too , some of them bluntly told him that they feel he was living in a dream world, some of them criticized him by saying that he was still clutching to his past, a few of them smiled and wished him the best for future.

As time passed and more people tried to persuade him, his belief started to shake a little. Every time it happened, he felt alone as he had no one to whom he could go to restore the belief. He realized he was his own strength. Every time he felt weak, he just closed his eyes and recollect how he felt the time he fell in love, what he felt and how special it was. He visualized himself falling in love again with the same feeling, he visualized himself going back to everyone who did not believe in his thoughts and telling them that he was right. He visualized everyone apologizing to him. Every time with his thought, he would restore his faith and gather strength to wait for his love. Somewhere, he always felt angry to all the people who tried to tell him to change his belief.

After waiting for long time, it eventually happened again. Yes, he felt the way he always dreamt it to be – he heard the bells ringing, violins playing when he fell in love. In a minute, he felt his life changed – everything around him was so beautiful again, in each and every minute he felt the happiness he always waited for in last few years. He felt everything perfect again in his life. 

However, there was a slight difference that he never imagined – he felt inner peace, he experienced his mind getting blank with no anger or whatsoever for the people who never supported him for his belief – he immediately decided to forgive them and move on with his life. He felt proud of himself that he did not let his dream die; he never compromised with his dream and beliefs. He understood what tears of happiness meant that day.

“You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.”

Friday 25 January 2013

We – The People


I have thought about this many times over the last one month – Is my country “INDIA” really a nation I should be proud of? Is my motherland one of the best countries to live in? Should I feel proud to be an Indian ? Well, the patriotism in my heart gives the answer YES. But honestly speaking the answer is clear NO.

I was home (back in Delhi) for two weeks winter break – I could feel the tension in the entire city because of the rape incident and then the sad demise of the girl. I saw people standing on the road with candles and banners asking the government to do something about the safety of the women. I saw karate classes going on in the park near my society. I saw police patrolling at midnight near my home on new year’s eve. I read about a constable dying doing his duty to control the protesters. I read a lot in newspapers about what needs to be done to make the city safe. I listened a lot on the news channel anchors giving their expert comments about where the nation is heading. Did I find a good solution ? The answer is NO.

When I was back to Chennai , someone asked me “Did you go to the protest march held at Jantar Mantar”? I replied, “No” and he looked at me with disappointment. I could feel that he wanted to say that common dude , you should have done that. One other friend asked me “Why the hell are you not sharing the posts related to the rape incident or changing your profile pic to that black dot”, I chose not to reply. A neighbor called me and said “What is wrong with your city”. I thought no point in explaining anything and decided to quietly listen good things about Chennai for next 15 minutes.

I have heard lot of leaders saying that the future of the nation is in hand of young generation (18-30 years old). I was surprised when politicians (mostly of the BJP) and other famous personalities hailed the young generation for carrying out a revolution in the rape incident and making the government kneel down. I read a lot of quotes from these people “Young brigade knows what they want”, “They have woken up and ready to script the future” etc etc. Belonging to this generation, I seriously doubt that. I see myself belonging to a generation who does not think before doing anything. We are trying to be extremists – the one trying to go against the normal tide, trying always to do something against the popular belief, a generation spending more time on Facebook, chatting, drinking, dating, using the four letter words and above all taking pride in doing all this.

However, as a generation we do keep on insisting that we are not like our predecessors. We understand what is wrong with the society and we want to change that. But I do not see that happening. What I see is an eruption of anger for few minutes or days, sometimes even seconds and then back to normal careless life after that. In 15 minutes they pretend that nothing happened and to make the matter worse take pride in doing that. I guess it is something which everyone in India has the quality – Mumbai people post the attacks were back to normal life very soon and some stupid personalities even took pride in it and said This is what makes Mumbai special.

I seriously doubt if we (young generation) made a difference till now to the country. But I think being educated we can make a difference to our immediate surroundings atleast. By doing small small things – donating a part of the salary to help in education of a poor child, by ensuring we stand against child labor by not having a child working at our home/factory/shop, by paying taxes, by voting, by standing against dowry, by treating others with respect, not following the western style of dating/relationships and believing in love , not taking pride in smoking and drinking, not being part of Brain drain.

By doing all this am sure we will be able to take first step in changing society. And believe me, if everyone of our generation does this, then at least in the metro regions we will start to see some change. However, I know the biggest problem lies in the rural areas – for which I don’t know what we can do as of now. May be just hope that government uses funds effectively to spread education, food and employment to them. 

If we want to do something for the country, we need to change first, then criticize the government. 15-20 years down the line, some amongst us will be politicians, judges, wealthy and powerful business tycoons. It is then when we will get chance to make the biggest difference - I hope then we do not end up saying that the future belong to the young generation. If it happens, then this vicious circle will never end. I hope we start today by doing the small small things right. I hope in my life time I will proudly say YES I AM AN INDIAN.