Turning 27

One interesting thing I noted on my birthday couple of days back was that I ended up spending my last four birthdays in different cities. The 26^th one was in Chennai (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2012/11/happy-birthday-to-me.html), the 25^th one was in Kolkata (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/11/turning-25.html), and the 24^th one was at home in Delhi.

Never thought about this at the start of the year, but as my favorite quote reads “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” I ended up spending my birthday in a different city, Bangalore.  

Over the last few years or so, I always preferred to not to work or study on my birthday. During college days, I always took off. Even my last two birthdays, I took off/half day from work. Unluckily, had no such option this time and it proved to be the busiest birthday of my life so far. I eventually got couple of hours time late evening and had good dinner with a friend, few calls from friends n family who remembered its my birthday J. (P.S.  I know am going to get a call from couple of friends soon who follow my blog, and they are going to put the blame on me of not having birthday update activated on FB :D).

I guess this post is incomplete if I don’t explicitly thank couple of close and special friends for making the birthday so so so special, with their wishes and beautiful  and amazing gifts J. Lucky to have you in my life. Thanks again. J

Strangely am excited already for my next birthday to find out which city I celebrate it in. :D

Those sunny days – II

Everyone says that the first job is special, for some its special because that’s the first time they feel a sense of being independent, for some its special because it’s the first time they earn money.

For me the first job is special for entire different set of reasons. The list of the reasons is very long. But one of the reasons is that it was in first job back in 2008-09 I started writing. Oh yes, it was back then in those sunny days (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/04/those-sunny-days.html), when first time in my life I bought a diary to start writing. And that diary remains the only time I wrote with utmost honesty and truth.

For couple of months in that period, it was my only friend. It kind of provided my with a sense of comfort. Every night I used to scribble down my thoughts in it. I never wrote anything on this diary after that period.  When I read them after couple of years – I realized that some of the thoughts in it were very beautiful, but some of them were really scary and weird. So I decided to keep it away from everyone and hence as a precaution keep it with myself not in my home in delhi. I dont think so anyone has read it except me. J

For lot of people, clicking pictures is a way to remember things.  For me its writing – this blog, that diary. It reminds me of the feelings I had at a particular time of my life. It reminds me of what I was going through then. More importantly it reminds me of what I thought about my life.

Out of comfort zone – II

All good things come to an end…… If moving on is difficult – it shows how good the time has been.

Things are almost perfect – almost like a dream. Then, eventually a time comes when you need to wake up from the dream and face reality. I am happy in my comfort zone and a big part of me want to stay in it. It want to stay in it forever.

However, I guess it is the past (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/12/out-of-comfort-zone.html) which has made me strong enough to take up the challenge and move forward. I admit I feel scared taking decisions that change the surroundings around me. I like things to stay as they are.  I guess this is where the support of my family and friends come into play – they give me the courage to take such kind of decisions. Sometimes, I feel surprised that how much they trust me to take decisions independently including trusting me even at a point when I was not ready to trust myself back in 2008-09.

Many people including me struggle to take that important decision. A decision that is going to make the near future tough, a decision that can turn the life upside down, a decision which if it goes wrong can make your life living hell. On a positive side, if it goes right then the risk taken is more than well compensated.  

Sometimes you have to think ahead of time and take a decision. A decision which most of the people will disagree with as they don’t have the vision like you have. These are the toughest ones because they put you completely out of the comfort zone alone in a box.

 As expected 2013 is turning out to be a year to remember both for good and bad reasons...second best year in terms of learning experience so far..

The little HUMAN inside me

Sometimes I wonder if we humans who are the most intelligent species on this planet are actually at the same time the worst species too. And yes, I am like you a part of it and am doing nothing to change that. To make the matters worse, its not just that we are bad to other species like animals, we are bad to other humans too.

The good human inside me sometimes feels pity about the beggar on the road, a street dog shivering in the cold, poor people not having money for the medicines, a small hungry kid sleeping on the road etc. I think about it for max 2-3 minutes and then get back to my normal life. I don’t take a step forward and try to do anything to change that. I am not sure if I can bring a change in the society or in the lives of the needy people/animals.

I have always been asked by many quite curiously that how on earth a Punjabi like me who lived in Delhi for more than 20 years has turned vegetarian.  As an individual I feel that as a human being by being a vegetarian I am listening to the little human inside me who wants to respect the animals and feels sad knowing that we humans actually end up killing animals – again its my perception and I don’t try to preach it because its none of my business. J

I feel sad reading in newspapers about how people sacrifice animals for religious reasons. I think that is one of the strong reasons because of which am agnostic as if god exists he would have done something to stop this unless he actually likes to see people killing animals which I highly doubt. I don’t understand why something is not done to stop all this and why people feel happy after this. How can good happen to you by killing someone????

The little human do keep asking me such questions from time to time and I keep thinking about them but find it really hard to get a satisfactory answer.

The clueless times

Sometimes you don’t know what you are running after but you continue to run. May be, you   are running from the situation or trying to find time to sort it at the right moment. 

Sometimes, some things happen which create a feeling of emptiness and you try to fill it with time.

Sometime, you know you have let quite a few people down unintentionally – but you cannot apologize for that.

Sometimes you just want to see the future, you are not interested in the present and want to forget the past.

Sometimes are crazy times – Sometimes you just have to wait for time to pass. J

The hidden answers

Despite what happened (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/08/and-everything-stopped-for-moment.html), he always had one fantasy. It was to meet her once again (http://unknownrahul.blogspot.in/2011/10/love-or-desire.html), something like Alfred expressed in The Dark Knight rises. He also fantasized about just an eye contact with her – an eye contact to express that they both are happy in their own lives, they both have buried the past and now what they have is nothing more than mutual respect for each other. He always felt that this one minute of eye contact will make him feel better, it will give him answer to all the things which remained as questions with the end of relationship. Whilst the meeting never happened, but with time he found all the answers from the most likely source.

He found the answers from himself as time passed. Time made him realize that there is more to life than her. From one view of him not being good enough for her, he found the lost self-confidence of believing that he was meant for someone better. From being afraid to communicate with strangers, he again started viewing them without any preconceived notions. Above all, he reclaimed his individuality and beliefs.

Today he is not waiting for that one moment. Yes the thought about her do cross his mind once in a while but the feeling is just of respect and a bit of anger about how things ended. He does not need any answers as he has already found the most important answer.

 “When everything has been said and done, its best to leave it that way.”

A minute of fame

I guess I was one of the late adopters of facebook. I eventually came on facebook when I heard people were actually questioning my existence as I could not be found on the social networking site (The same is happening again now as am not on WhatsApp, damn I hate technological evolution in social networking :D).

The biggest reason for the success of facebook is that it has given everyone of us a shortcut to “A minute of fame”. Well, if you are doing something that you want to “boast” about – put it on facebook. You want to show your ex how happy you are without him/her – simple put it on facebook. It is your “A minute of fame” and make everyone else notice you. I am fine with all these – but the ones where people tell how much they love their parents/friends/pets, I find that really irritating sometimes. Common, your pet is not on facebook – please go and kiss him in real rather than sending a kiss virtually on his facebook page created by you only.

I guess its fine till the time you are doing it for “A minute of fame” and not bothered more about it. It is bad if you start getting affected by it: “Oh no, only 5 likes”, “Did he notice my status – how can I find out”, “Let me think what I should put today on facebook”. People like these I call them “virtual” people – people who bother more about their online life as compared to real life.

I seriously wonder sometimes what the next evolution will be in social networking. Definitely facebook is just the beginning – there is more to come. Hopefully by then, I would have atleast migrated to WhatsApp. J