Prayer

I have around 2500 songs( many I never heard i guess )in my laptop..yeah..am a music lover..dere is always some song playing when am working on my laptop or am driving my car...I have 2-3 special folders of songs in my laptop and I select which one to play as per my mood..the day my mood is totally neutral I add whole list of songs to winamp and tick on random for winamp to decide which song to play...

Yesterday a song which got played reminded me of my school days..Its a prayer..Itni shakti hamein de na daata...It was the first time I was actually listening to the original track..in school time I just had learnt the prayer bcoz my teacher asked me to do so..never ever thought about what I was praying ..never paid attention to the lyrics carefully..

So when I heard the lyrics I realized how beautiful they are..So I thought of sharing the prayer with you all :)

Itni Shakti Hamein Dena Data, Mann ka wishwaas kamajor ho naa

Hum chalein Nek raste pe hum se, Bhoolakar bhee koi bhool ho naa

Door Agynaan Ke ho Andhere, Tu Hamein gyaan kee roshani de

har buraee se bachate rahe hum jitanee bhee de bhalee jindagee de

bair ho naa kisee kaa kisee se, bhawanaa mann mein badalen kee ho naa

Hum Na Sochein Humei Kya Milaa hai, Hum ye sochein Kiya Kyaa Hai Arpan

phool khushiyon ke baante sabhee ko, sab kaa jeewan hee ban jaaye madhuban

apanee karunaa kaa jal too bahaa ke, kar de paawan har yek man kaa konaa

Itni shaktee humei denaa daataa, man kaa wishwaas kamajor ho naa

hum chale nek raste pe hum se, bhoolakar bhee koi bhool ho naa

har taraf julm hain, bebasee hain, sehma sehma saa har aadami hain

paap kaa bojh badhataa hee jaaye, jaane kaise ye dharatee thami hain

Bojh mamtaa ka tu ye uthhaa le, teri rachanaa kaa hee ant ho naa

hum andhere mein hain roshanee de, kho naa de khud ko hee dushmanee se

hum sajaa paaye apane kiye kee, maut bhee ho to sah le khushi se

kal jo gujaraa hain fir se naa gujare, Aane wala wo kal aisa ho naa

Those sunny days

First job is always special. For me too it is but in addition it is very close to my heart. My first job was in Infosys. I worked there for exactly 7 months  in mysore campus. The first 4 months were arguably the best days of my life and last 3 months definitely the worst days of my life.

Just  couple of minutes back I was searching in my laptop any entry I wrote this very date one year ago and I found one. Not related to infy as i thought but The strange thing in it was I had written the title of that entry as Random Thoughts. So the mystery of my blog name being “ Random Thoughts “ clears with this. Frankly even I had no clue how come I ended up giving this name to my blog. So I myself got surprised finding this connection. J

Now what  I was doing exactly 2 years ago. Pheww…just a thought of it is enough to bring shivers to my body. I was contemplating leaving my job.It was 2009 , year of recession , people were finding hard to get a job and I was considering leaving it. The worst part was I hadn’t got in a B school dat time and even worst was I was not even in first waiting list of any B school. So in all like my peers said to me during that time I was mad.

But I have no hard feelings about it. Even today I get excited whenever name of Infosys comes up and I tend to refer it to as my company J . It was my decision to join Infosys, a decision which wasn’t liked by my mom since I had a job offer in Noida from a big US company. But then I always have been a fan of Mr Murthy so infy was d obvious choice for me. I spent amazing first few months in beautiful mysore campus. I miss the good times spent there..watching movies in big theatre every weekend , playing basketball, table tennis etc , long walks with friends,studying and being one of the toppers in batch . I made couple of best friends there in campus with whom I talk almost everyday even today. So name of Infosys brings a smile to my face.

At the same time whenever name of Infosys comes up , it reminds me of the last 3 months in campus wherein I lost my peace of mind. Every step I took went wrong , I guess I ran out of luck during those months. Personally things were worse and then some stupid Infosys HR policies made my life more miserable. I realized that in such a big IT company its very difficult to get heard and noticed and that killed my enthusiasm to work. Eventually after giving everything a deep thought, I resigned this very date.

So in all those were the best and worst days of my life J

Strange Beliefs

I read daily horoscope…I guess now its been 7-8 years I been doing this every morning…..I read it online on Times of India website and also in Delhi Times…TOI just gives one line of prediction for the day whereas Delhi Times is a little more in detail….

I read them just for fun..n try to make a link with my life to the prediction… sometimes they do bring a smile on my face…Like today ….last couple of days were bad for me….So just now I read my horoscope for Sunday….It says “Today will bring about a complete reversal of yesterday’s dismal trends “ …wow…this is kinda little motivation…sunday is gonna be a good day J

Horoscopes are general…as in dey same for everyone having that sun sign…..A variation of it is Tarot Cards….which is more for individual…..I do kinda believe in tarot cards …I have got them done couple of times till now…n strangely they have proved to be correct…First time I went for it …it was just for fun…n I got some predictions done for my coming year….second time I went for them was after a year ..n dat time it was with intent…bcoz all d predictions had come true in the previous year….Strangely second reading also proved to be true….So I am kinda believer in it and is looking forward to another tarot reading soon J

VaastuShastra is another thing about which am not sure…am kinda little against it but again cant challenge it n eventually I accept what it says…bcoz of it I got my room changed 3 years ago…d worst part was it was done after I had got my room painted with a fundoo color and then when I was about to move in …My dad got to know that actually dere has been a little mistake and as per VaastuShastra my room is other one…N other room wall color was different… L

Last thing related to luck/future are my accessories…I been wearing a ring since 11^th standard…It is supposed to bring luck to me…its bcoz in my kundli dere is something very bad and as per many Pandits am never destined to get what I desire the most at any point of time…so d way out is this ring which will atleast ensure I get the second best thing available J

Den I been wearing a Kara( it’s a bangle ) since childhood… Its one of the five khalsas of Sikhism…a symbol of truthfulness, unity  and strength.

Latest addition last month in this list is a symbol of evolution..which am wearing in neck….Its supposed to help me evolve as a better human being… though I doubt so :D

Then there is Turkish eye bracelet… It protects against evil eye… I have put it in my i10…just to ensure that someone doesn’t come n hit my lovely  car J

What Went Wrong

 I  was never confused,
 You always made me feel amused. 
 Our feelings for eachother were always pure,
 I  thought we both were hundred percent sure.
 We knew eachother in and out
 being fake was never a doubt.
 Everything was going like a dream,
 suddenly our relation started moving downstream.
 Our love was keeping us together bind,
 I still dont know why you started using your mind.
 We promised our relation base will be honesty,
 am surprised why you broke this policy.
 There was complete transparency between us,
 the day you stopped dat i felt like being run over by a bus.
 My care for you was termed as worry,
 You never had someone to care before, for that i feel sorry.
 I know all your relations in past passed through various phases,
 I wish you realized those experiences were just bad cases.
 Everyone is not the same,love is not a game,
 getting your love was never my aim.
 I always loved you in the purest way
 I hoped you will realize it someday,
 But you didnt give yourself enough time
  and not listened to your heart
 took the most important decision consulting your mind
  and hence today we are apart.
 I never did any mistake in loving you
 will do the same in next life too.
 I wish you stay happy forever and never feel alone
 will miss you like anything till am gone.
 Your name echoes with my every heartbeat
 for me surviving each moment without u is a feat.
 My life is now going in no direction,
 I see you everywhere even in my reflection.
 Being with you forever  was my ultimate fantasy
 i love and miss you a lot my _______..

Fight : Heart Vs Mind

                                Ek Chhota Sa Lamha Hai Jo Khatam Nahin Hota

                               Main Laakh Jalata Hoon Ye Bhasm Nahin Hota

Its strange what we want to forget in life …we are not able to forget that….Its may be because we are making special efforts to forget it…

In one of the friends episode they showed that by burning all the gifts given by ex…u will be able to start a new life….I don’t think so ….i mean ok u can burn the gifts…but what about the memories….u cant burn or delete them…

So what to do….again my favorite line comes into picture … “ its all about giving time to time “ …. U will get better only with time….from remembering her with every heartbeat…slowly it will go upto  every minute..den day..den month…den year…n after dat if u remember her someday it will just bring a smile to ur face…

It sounds very simple..but it isn’t…bcoz dere will be a constant battle between mind n heart…Everytime u will remember her u will feel like calling/texting / mailing her …dere will be a hope created by heart dat get in touch with her n things will be fine…She might be waiting for ur call… Initially heart will win dese battles n lead u in an endless loop of pain and hope….crazy heart….

This will go on else u realize that its time to ensure that the mind wins the battle and controls the body and the actions..The sooner u realize this the better ….U have to keep reminding urself dat u r doing it for ur own good…for ur friends and family who stood by u in the toughest of times just to see a smile back on ur face…By doing something stupid again u cant let them n urself down…

This whole thing is a continuous process….Dese battles will happen within urself time to time…talk to ur friends during those battles…those who either actually know what happened to u or u think can give an unbiased opinion and who will listen to u carefully n from their experience guide u in the best possible way ….It helps a great deal ..

These battles are very draining but very important…so fight hard …stay focused…win them…n den celebrate the victory with a smile  J

Nostalgia

It is an amazing feeling…makes u smile….makes u cry…

U see children in school uniform on road and u get nostalgic abt ur school days…U cross a place where u used to go for dates…u get nostalgic….sometimes even a song which plays up suddenly on radio…even dat drives u into nostalgia.

I get nostalgic very easily. In addition to places, people , songs one more thing which drives me into nostalgia is Dates  ( Calendar vali not date date vali J ). I remember almost all the important dates, I don’t need FB to know if today is birthday of a close friend of mine. Like that, I remember all the dates of my past.  Therefore, if today is a very important date I remember what exactly I was doing 1 year ago, 2 years ago till the year that date actually got special for me.

Its much easier to stop being nostalgic on listening a song…More easy to stop being nostalgic on visiting a particular place….But this Dates funda…I find it hard to stop…More so because its very rare that some other thing happens on that particular date making me remember that date for new reason….

There are some dates which I will definitely like to forget .. I wish there was some way I could delete them from my memory forever ….

Nostalgia is good as long as it is about memories we wish to remember……

Friendship and Love : A big difference

He grew up watching SRK movies… started imagining that love is actually what is shown in his movies…started dreaming that he will also fall in love like what is shown in his movies. When he heard the famous dialogue by SRK in the movie kuch kuch hota hai “Pyar...pyar dosti hai..aur agar woh meri sab se achchi dost nahin ban sakti to main usse kabhi pyar nahin kar sakta “, he decided that moment itself  of  settling down with his best girl – friend he will have in future. He felt that would be the best thing to happen to him. 

10 years later he had a girl as his best friend. He liked her a lot as a person. They were so good together and transparent to each other that he shared his stupid dream with her. She acted maturely to it and told him dat he is acting stupid and immature. Love and friendship are different and are not to be mixed. She said that he didn’t love her so no point in thinking of it.

He felt sad but decided he will wait till the time she gets convinced about him n agree for it.

Then entered a girl in his life. A girl who changed his life. A girl with whom he fell in love.The progress of her being his friend to love was so fast that there wasn’t even a moment when she was his best friend. Even then his best girl- friend remained the same and she had started feeling jealous on seeing him moving towards her .

The guy was completely in love. He now knew what love was . But his dream got over very soon. The girl didn’t love him that much to think about a future with him. She was too much focused on her career to think about all this. She left him for her own good. He was shattered. He felt that he lost everything in his life. But he was happy that he got a chance to experience what it is like to be in love.

He called up his best girl- friend and thanked her for support and also for acting maturely earlier and not letting him do mistake which would have spoilt their friendship. But he was surprised when he noticed she was crying. She said she loves him. He was stunned. He wasn’t feeling lucky that his childhood dream of being in relationship with his best friend was about to get true, he was feeling sad that now he had experienced love he didn’t feel the same for her. He had realized that there is a big difference between friendship and Love. With deep pain he started explaining this to her and in his mind he knew that soon he was going to lose his best girl-friend in addition to girlfriend which he had just lost a week back. 

He was left confused if falling in love was the best thing to happen to him or the worst.....